dordain
Elder
King of No Pants
Posts: 143
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Post by dordain on Mar 18, 2019 2:34:08 GMT
So a couple events ago I got really lucky and won a supreme rare cart at the raffle. Even the strain of Mord yelling rigged could not penetrate my happiness. Little did I know what winning that cart would mean.  I was not shaken when the first willow arrows flew by me on the road. I became slightly concerned when shadowed by a fiery red wagon. I should of known it was the cart they were after. I let my guard down for a second and the great cart heist began. I awoke this morning in my usual state after drinking to much Servo moonshine. (don't judge that canal is great for a hang over). Gone were my pants (nothing new) and gone was my cart!!! I got one look at that perpetrator.  As you can see the lazy tower guards were to busy taking their monthly bath to do much. other than tread water. The highway woman told read a book for once and roared off into the woods. * I will begin my search just as soon as I locate my pants!!!! ***note: (this whole thing is more than likely made up for fun so nobody panic)** (unrelated, but if anyone sees my pants stop them) |
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Post by kharlotta on Mar 18, 2019 2:59:28 GMT
Before taking off with the goods the cart thief read the first chapter of what will probably be the number one best seller on Sklotopolis soon aloud, this is what it said.
The Great Cart Heist, Chapter 1
Kharlotta watched from her super cheap spyglass as Dordain got into his boat and sailed away. "Finally! The fool has left it unguarded!", she thought to herself. She slid silently down the hill as Elfin pulled it into Avallone, the time was now...or never! All that was needed now was a suitable distraction and the cart would finally be hers! Looking through her bags there wasn't much to work with, but then she saw them! Eight unicorns hitched to wagons, anxious to be free, so Kharlotta would grant their wishes. Once the beasts were unhitched they charged around, tearing up the fields and a shriek could be heard from Elfin's house. Jumping on the opportunity she ran to the cart, hopped on and grabbed hold of the reins of the two hell beasts hitched to it and off they went like a speeding bullet! All anybody knew was the sound of the thundering molten hooves on the road and the thief shouting "It's finally mine! Hahahahahaha!".
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dordain
Elder
King of No Pants
Posts: 143
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Post by dordain on Mar 18, 2019 4:01:28 GMT
I made my way home to find that the cheeky highway woman had left me a book detailing the above thoughts of this free wheeling rogue.  Upon picking up the book I heard a hearty laugh. I turned to see the highway woman sitting nearby. I must be off more chapters to write and roads to travel!!! Its hard to dislike such a witty miscreant  |
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Post by mordraug on Mar 18, 2019 13:12:12 GMT
60s!!! ........ wait... the auction hasn't started yet? ... not like anyone told me there would be one.... ... doorbell's ringing!  |
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dordain
Elder
King of No Pants
Posts: 143
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Post by dordain on Mar 23, 2019 1:03:04 GMT
This fine winter morning I was sitting in my humble abode. Piecing together and contemplating all the leads and clues I had received about the highway woman and my shiny cart.  Suddenly the early morning silence was broken with a loud *sproing*. In comes another book flying through the window. Pro tip never hire a courier who uses catapults. took out my lovely cake and everything. Ahem, the book contained an intriguing set of clues from the mysterious highway woman.    the wily rapscallion has set me a task of epic proportions. I will search every inch of the lands of Liberty to find my precious rare cart. I will find it before spring settles on the land or in a couple hours. Whichever comes first so swears Dordain! *
* Timing subject to how many times I get distracted. If you know me at all this could be a while  |
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Post by mordraug on Mar 23, 2019 11:16:39 GMT
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tomservo
High Elder
VIP
Chief Seal Clubber
Posts: 1,070
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Post by tomservo on Mar 25, 2019 21:38:39 GMT
I think I know who the highway woman is!
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tomservo
High Elder
VIP
Chief Seal Clubber
Posts: 1,070
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Post by tomservo on Mar 25, 2019 21:39:27 GMT
I’m trying to figure out how killing seals ties in to this story. Can someone explain. Thank
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Post by mordraug on Mar 26, 2019 3:30:50 GMT
The seals are trying to outbid me on the black market auction.
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